What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?

She found it foreign!.

I had hoped to write a book about this .

I know ,a lot about trauma.

If you were a writer for HBO, how would you rewrite the final season of Game of Thrones?

As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)

Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.

We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..

Can you provide some examples of music with a free form structure?

I said to her

5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.

He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!

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Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!

We all went to grammer schools

He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.

If my lovely sister sleeps with my boyfriend, what should I do about her?

On the 31st of Jan this month .

But im an empath, and i help lots of people.

As i do to all so called friends.?

Do you enjoy cheating on your spouse? If so, why?

Im still living with it.

And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!

And, all my friends down the years ,where users.

Why are people becoming increasingly hostile to pro-lifers? I am pro-life.

She loved him until the end.

I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.

Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..

Does the rest of the world see America as a joke now that Trump is president again?

So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.

My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!

The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,

What was your wildest experience as a lesbian?

I could never make a relationship work though!

Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.

Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t

Can you share 100 facts about yourself?

He resisted the act ,that day.

And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!

But it wasn’t much.

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I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor

We were not on the streets..

I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .

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Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.

I never cut or harmed myself..

I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.

Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!

I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers

I was seconnd youngest,

And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.

He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!

I did it because my mum asked me too!

Who then, do I blame.?

When she asked me how she looked .

And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!

And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!

I don,t even have a pension.

Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.

Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.

She died at 55 of colon cancer.

I was scared of men, in general

As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!

He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .

I write beautiful poetry .

Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.

Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)

My mum and dad in the seventies!

We could never speak unless he spoke to us!

I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.

She was in good health!

I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!

But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!

He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!

I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!

He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.

Im dying but, im not bitter.

When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!

She married twice! .

All the time i was locked up.

They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?

It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.

Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.

She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.

I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.

My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.

19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.

Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!

Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.

Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.

It was going to be , some day.

He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!

Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!

One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.

But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!

I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.

We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.

One cannot live in the past .

So, i spoilt her more .

This is soul school!.

I might have to go back 30 generations or more..

That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.

Why did i forgive my father ?

I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.

And who doesn’t know suffering?

You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.

As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.

Ive learnt so much.

The only rule us 5 kids had .

We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!

So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.

One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)

She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.

Another so called friend had bit the dust..

I was very sick at this time too.

And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)

Would this be the day?

BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.

He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.

He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.

But ive been too sick for many years..

My life is so biszare .

Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..

Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.

I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.

She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!

Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?

Was to survive, this bastard.

Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.

Its mostly always from childhood abuse .

But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).

So whats the point in blame.

My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .

But, we were locked up after school.

My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.

But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.

I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.

I have no regrets .

.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them

Comes on , in middle age.

My family never makes their pension either.

Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other

My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.

I waited trembling.

I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.

Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life

I was writing from the time i was a small child.

You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .

He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.

Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.

She was a women, a mother with her own children!.

He knew the spot.

And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .

Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!

And i lived it daily.

But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .

Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.

He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!

His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!

Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.

Especially a lifetime of it.

The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..

But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !

They are buried together, in the same grave..

I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.

One cannot hold on to bitterness.

The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!

She wouldn,t have been !

Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.

(And it was in our own minds.)

Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.

Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.

I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.

She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!

I will be 64.

As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!

I suffer greatly, because of BPD..

At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.

This is how, and why children get BPD.

What did i know ?

I of course replied” arh beautiful!

Thats was my nicest nick name for him

But im dying ,and its too late for me.

I was 9 years of age.

Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years

For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)

I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)

With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.

My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.

Where the ultimate outsiders.

Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..

Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.

She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!

The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.

I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.

Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.

It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.

I think the readers, may guess!

I couldn’t, believe it.

One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.

A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.

Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..

Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.

Put me off passion for life!!

But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,

He was dying to do it , i knew.

But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!

Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.

We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.

As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.

His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.